The Power of Discord
Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships Are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust
by Ed Tronick, PhD, and Claudia M. Gold, M.D.
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Remember the Still Face Experiment back in the 70's? Dr. Edward Tronick and colleagues created an experiment in which an infant, after three minutes of "interaction" with a non-responsive expressionless mother, "rapidly sobers and grows wary. He makes repeated attempts to get the interaction into its usual reciprocal pattern. When these attempts fail, the infant withdraws [and] orients his face and body away from his mother with a withdrawn, hopeless facial expression."
The 'still face' experiment is a powerful consistent study which shows our need for connection from very early in life.
In 2020 Dr. Tronick and Dr. Gold have written an excellent book about the inherent messiness in relationships and our capacities for working thru the "mismatch and repair" (and we certainly have a lot of mismatch in relationships over the last 2 years!).
I'm so glad that trauma therapist Linda Thai had recommended this book during a Somatic Embodiment and Regulation training that I'm taking. It is engaging, uses a wide variety of examples and is hopeful.
Make sure you read the chapter on technology!